Categories
Codependence Long Distance Relationship Personality Traits

Co-pilot or codependent?

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote Aaron an email message that declared my love for him, saying how much I want to be his partner, his lover, and his friend. I thought that I had expressed myself well, and I was quite pleased with myself.

Last week, it occurred to me that I have always believed that I am worthless unless I can do something for someone. I don’t know why anyone would want me around unless I can do something useful. That pretty much defines a codependent personality.

That not a good thing.

How do you define the “forever after kind of love”? What makes for a good life partnership? The romantic ideal is to pair off with someone that you can depend on through thick and thin. How do you keep the relationship within the realm of healthy interdependence as opposed to dysfunctional codependence? I want to be with someone that I know will be there when I need him. But I don’t want him to feel totally responsible for my well being. I can stand on my own two feet. At least, I like to think that I can. I mean, I’m 42 years old and never been married. That means that I am independent, right? The fact that no one has ever actually proposed marriage to me doesn’t necessarily mean anything, right?

So, what did I really mean in that message to Aaron? Am I simply being insecure, or am I trying to rope him into a dysfunctional relationship? Do I want to be his equal partner in life, or do I want to make him completely dependent on me? Or worse yet, make him feel like I am totally dependent on him? Do I want to share his life, or smother it? Do I even know the difference?

Categories
Personality Traits Self-development

You really like me!

People Definitely Like You

You are very well liked, and many people admire you.
You are friendly, well mannered, and fun to be around.
Of course, you’re not perfect … but that’s okay.
Your friends are usually willing to accept you for who you are!

What People Don’t Like About You:

People don’t like that you can’t defend your values and beliefs. You seem unreasonably stubborn.

People don’t like that you seem unnatural and stiff at times. You sometimes give off an impression of being standoffish or fake.

People don’t like that you’re not very interesting or engaging. You often bore them… and yourself.

What People Like About You:

People like that you truly take and interest in them. Everyone likes to be liked!

People like that you give them complements. You make people feel good about themselves!

People like that you give them support and strength. Friends know that they can count on you to be there for them.

Do People Like You?
Categories
Personality Traits

The hidden meaning of your name

This is me when I am not clinically depressed.

What Eva Means

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easygoing attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it’s killing you.
You’re the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?
Categories
Personality Traits

Love Personality Test Results

My test results (yes, I am bored today).

Take this and other tests on Blogthings:

Your Love Type: INFP

The Idealist

In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship.
For you, sex doesn’t come quickly – it takes time for you to open up.

Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive.
However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space.

Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

What’s Your Love Type?
Categories
Communication Personality Traits

What kind of blogger are you?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life – a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And you make it as entertaining as possible.
What Kind of Blogger Are You?
Categories
Personality Traits

Am I bitchy?

You Are 54% Bitchy

Generally, you’re an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes … well, watch out!
Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.
How Bitchy Are You?
Categories
Family Relationships Holiday Blues Personality Traits

Just in time for Mother’s Day

If only I had more time with my mom …

You Are Somewhat Like Your Mom

Believe it or not, you and your mom are pretty darn similar.
It may not seem like it at times, but you and your mom have a lot of common ground.
Over time, you’ll probably get closer … especially if you emphasize the things you like about each other.
Are You Like Your Mom?
Categories
ADHD Personality Traits

I just can’t seem to get along …

When I was about to leave home for graduate school, my dad and I talked about living arrangements. I told him about the dorm apartments for graduate students and that I had requested a two-bedroom to share with a roommate. My dad suggested that I change that request to a one-bedroom for myself alone because I don’t get along with other people very well. Thanks a lot, Dad!! I went off to school, met a lot of cool people, then ended up alienating myself from all of them, including my roommate. The next year I had a studio apartment to myself.

I still run into problems with “getting along” with people. I know that it is me, because I am the only common denominator, but I don’t know what it is that I do exactly. I am hot-headed and passionate. I don’t think before I speak a lot of the time. But when I don’t speak, then I am perceived as stubborn, or angry, or snobbish. It makes people nervous if I don’t say anything. I know that I do not have a “poker face” and my feelings always come through with my facial expression. But even in online conference rooms, where nobody sees me since I abhor web cams, I have been told that people get nervous when I stay silent. But I open my mouth and I get reactions that I don’t expect.

I think that is par for the course for people with ADHD. I bought a book supposedly about the social cues that people with ADHD miss. I say supposedly because I have yet to make it past the first chapter. Short attention span. Bad thing. [sigh]

Categories
Clinical Depression Personality Traits

Am I depressed?

Okay, how do you tell the difference between depression due to chemical imbalances of the brain versus depression due to your situation in life? Hell if I know.

So I increased my meds like my shrink suggested to do. At the same time, my boyfriend’s mother has become even more annoying and intrusive. I went back to my original medication regimen after a week because I felt like I was ready to jump out of my skin. But was that because of my brain gone haywire, or my life gone haywire?

To clarify, my life hasn’t really gone completely haywire, just parts of it. But it seems like there is no immediate solution. Maybe not even one in the future. Is that my mind’s eye going blind, or my depressive personality trait, or the drama queen in me?

My shrink deserves WAY more than I pay him.

Categories
Personality Traits

Revelation8.11.2006

I am not a very nice person. Anybody who has met me in person is probably saying, “It’s about time you figured that out!” I have always known it. I am just now admitting it to myself.

I am standoffish, very private, not very willing to put myself out there unless I have a defined role, like instructor or tutor. I need to have a clear set of rules to dictate my behavior. Otherwise, I get into trouble.

People scare me. My feelings are hurt very easily. Hypersensitivity can be a part of clinical depression. On good days, I can control it. On other days, I try to keep my mouth shut and stay away from others. Keeping my mouth shut is the hard part. I guess that’s the ADHD component of my problems. I have difficulty with stopping to think before saying or doing anything.

My value for honesty often comes across as harsh criticism because tact is not my strong point. I am judgemental, and I don’t really try to hide it. That comes across as a “superiority complex.”

So…can I blame my personality on chronic depression, or would I have been a jerk regardless?