I am not a very nice person. Anybody who has met me in person is probably saying, “It’s about time you figured that out!” I have always known it. I am just now admitting it to myself.
I am standoffish, very private, not very willing to put myself out there unless I have a defined role, like instructor or tutor. I need to have a clear set of rules to dictate my behavior. Otherwise, I get into trouble.
People scare me. My feelings are hurt very easily. Hypersensitivity can be a part of clinical depression. On good days, I can control it. On other days, I try to keep my mouth shut and stay away from others. Keeping my mouth shut is the hard part. I guess that’s the ADHD component of my problems. I have difficulty with stopping to think before saying or doing anything.
My value for honesty often comes across as harsh criticism because tact is not my strong point. I am judgemental, and I don’t really try to hide it. That comes across as a “superiority complex.”
So…can I blame my personality on chronic depression, or would I have been a jerk regardless?