Categories
Dreams

Mommy?

I had a strange dream last night. My mother came to visit me. She told Aaron to make sure that I eat Chinese food once in awhile. I pulled Aaron aside and explained to him that she wasn’t accusing him of not feeding me; it was her way of telling him to take care of me. Then we were in my apartment, only it wasn’t my apartment; it was the apartment from that Marlo Thomas show “That Girl.” My mother’s luggage was sitting in the front doorway, but only half of it was there. My mother decided that she was going to leave a day early. I went out the front door to see my mother disappearing down the stairs. I was several floors up, and the stairs went down in a huge spiral around the center of the building. I never actually saw my mother. I called after her. Actually, I was yelling down the stairs for her to come back and stay with me.

Then, I felt Aaron’s arm go around me, and I woke up. This morning I asked Aaron if I was talking in my sleep and he said yes, a little bit.

Categories
Family Relationships

Things my mother told me

“I love you very much.”

“You are worth a two-carat diamond engagement ring.”

Categories
Clinical Depression

Another day, another year

Happy Birthday to Me.
Happy Birthday to Me.
After 40 years of agony,
I want to be free.

Where is my serenity?
I live in a sea
awash with paranoia.
Is there any hope for me?

Depression is killing me,
not physically, but spiritually.
Constantly seeking answers
is wearing badly on me.

Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
In my world of confusion,
I want peace and tranquility.

Categories
Clinical Depression

Residual

See this pill?
Just look, little girl.
Do not crush or chew.
Simply swallow
and peace comes to you.

It will let you sleep.
It will let you dream.
It will dry away your tears.
It will answer all your prayers.

Eyes close down.
Brain remains in gear.
Can’t find the stairs,
but gotta get over there.
What always remains
is fear.